the world is not a cold dead place.

ooohh i am overwhelmed. i am amazed.
can't quite think straight right now, i'm just so captivated by everything.
this is it. this is it. this is it.
this is it.
my mind cannot really function when i start thinking along those lines. it goes haywire. everything starts running around at record-breaking speeds and it's all jumbled up. i'm not ready. i'm so ready. i am excited and i am dread. but this is it. i'm doing the best i can. i wish it were simpler, but it's really just myself that complicates anything. nothing is even bothering me besides the fact that time needs to move faster and slower. at the same time, which would mean that time needs to run at it's normal pace. which it is. so what's the problem? i don't know. i'm just restless and i need to be moving and i need to be laying still.
i am contradiction.


but you said you would wait. you said. you will wait. and i'm lucky. lucky that you spoke up(when i didn't have words), lucky that you're patient(when i can't even wait for myself), lucky that you aren't scared(when i am frightened).
who wrote this? surely this isn't just life playing itself out. too. good. too. be true.